worries I won’t let get to me

Because by blogging about them, I solemnly swear that I will not let these little things get to me. Okay. Taking a deeep breath before I begin, because sometimes admitting your fears is scary.

I’ll be moving into college in a few days, and so here are some things that are minor stressors when I think about the next year.

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Making new friends. This is really my biggest fear when it comes down to it, because I’m not just worried about making new friends, I’m worried about making the right friends. I know you know how big I am about surrounding myself with good, wholesome people (sounds like a line from a health and fitness blog). College will be no different in terms of what I want, just sometimes I think it’ll be harder to pick out the good from the bad. Nobody walks around with “bad boy” tattooed onto their forehead, or whatever trait I won’t mix well with. I don’t ever want to find myself 10 years down the road as a lesser version of myself because of the friends I’ve made. So my biggest, probably irrational fear? This is it.

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Not being able to get back on that study grind. Really! For the most part, high school was a breeze for me. Yes there were bad weeks, and senior year was especially difficult, but all in all academics over the past 12 years of my education hasn’t been a struggle. So. In terms of expectations for fall quarter, mine are low. I’m not expecting to get As all the time or even Bs. I shied away from chemistry my first quarter because I’m scared. I lead a wimpy life about 50% of the time, but, “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.'” Thank you to Mary Anne Radmacher for that bit of inspiration. I have no idea what it’s going to be like with midterms and a full load of credits and finals, but I know that it’ll be okay. It always is.

Stressing myself out. If this was a course, or even a major (maybe a minor?), I could pass with flying colors and gold stars. I am the queen of worrying about everything–hello to this post, everybody–and giving myself stress for no reason. Sometimes I just need to reeelax and calm the heck down (see below), because it’ll all be okay in the end (see the point above). But I’m worried about time management, about a changing schedule every 10 weeks and about balancing my time between school and everything outside of school. If it’s one thing I need, it’s peace. And the patience to know that eventually, things will work themselves out. And prayer. So, so much prayer.

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Anyway though, I have loved this summer with all my heart. Very rarely are there extended periods of my life where, overall, I’m 100% content–but this summer has taken the cake. Of course there are small bumps here and there (case in point: this post). Of course there are nights where I’m not feeling it. But today, and yesterday, and the day before that, and tomorrow? I am happy. And I am thankful.

I hope you are too.

images: tumblr, paper & honey, tumblr via this blog; featured image: tumblr

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